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Love Shouldn't Hurt


~Healing Journey~

I live for those who love me,

For those who know me true,

For the Heaven that smiles above me,

And awaits my spirit, too;

For the cause that lacks assistance,

For the wrong that needs resistance,

For the future in the distance,

And the Good that I can do.~ George Linnaeus Banks

Broken - by Lifehouse (lyrics)

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonightMaybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my timeI am here still waiting though i still have my doubtsI am damaged at best, like you've...


For a very long time, the song above echoee my feeling of "brokeness".

both before and after the shooting!

Even now, although rare, I occasionally still feel "broken"...

Healing is not a destination, but a journey.



As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend.

I brought my broken dreams to God because he is my friend.

But then, instead of leaving Him in peace to work alone,

I hung around and tried to help wth ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,


"My child," He said, "What could I do? You never did Let Go."

Even in the worst of Storms, We Just Must Believe...

Casting Crowns-"Praise You In This Storm" (live)

Casting Crown-"Praise You In This Storm" (live)

Many things were done to ensure my survival. His brother happened to be outside when it happened (he lived with us and was outside smoking with our collie, Cherokee). Jerry came in when he heard the first shot, saw Keith shoot himself and called 911! If it wasn't for that, I doubt I'd still be alive! Thanks to ALL, Jerry, the police, medics, fireman and the hospital personnel as well as my family and friends! My co-workers past and present were phenomenal, too! 

My get-well card from my co-workers! ~ Yes, it's a poster-board sized fold-out generally used for displays and such! They spent a lot of time on this... and were telling me about all the glitter and everything that was all over the place while they were creating it! As I mentioned before, I'm extremely blessed and I know it! It is humbling but so very rewarding, knowing that I have touched so many lives in such a positive way!


Only God can

Turn a mess into a Message

A test into a Testimony

A trial into a Triumph

And a victim into Victory. unknown



When you look outside yourself for self-definition and self-worth, you are giving your power away and setting yourself up to be a victim. Society has trained you to be a victim. You have been taught to give your power away.

   To say, "I have to get up, and I have to go to work," is a lie. No one forces an adult to get up and go to work. The truth is, "I choose to get up and I choose to go to work today, because I choose to not have the consequences of not working."

   To say "I choose" is not only the truth, it is empowering and acknowledging an act of Self-Love. When we "have to" do something, we feel like a victim. And because we feel victimized, we will then be angry, and want to punish whomever we see as forcing us to do something we do not want to do.

   We always have a choice. The choice may sometimes seem to be awful, but in reality, allowing ourselves to buy into the illusion that we are trapped will have far worse consequences in the long run.



Learning to set boundaries is a vital part of learning to communicate in a direct and honest matter. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries, with someone who cannot communicate directly and honestly.

Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to yourself. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself, to protect yourself when necessary. It is impossible to learn to be loving to yourself without owning yourself ~ owning your rights and responsibilities as a co-creator of your Life.

{This boundary section was paraphrased from articles by Robert Burney. Thank you Mr Burney for making this information available}


Pink - Perfect (clean version) - lyrics on screen

No copyright intended. This is the clean version of a really inspiring song. Feel free to hit the little like button or leave a comment. :)Pink - Perfect with the lyrics on screen

People Come Into Your Life

For a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

When you know which one it is,

you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a Reason,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They may seem like a Godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part

or at an inconvienent time,

this person will say or do something to bring

the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that your need has been met, your desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered

and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a Season,

because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid, emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and

areas of your life.


Honor the circle! Abuse prevention through Honor.

Promoting the Native American wisdom of “Honor the Circle” – this new campaign teaches a dual prevention message, encouraging individuals to see themselvesas an integral part of the community:

Each person must take responsibility for their behaviors and decisions, which affect not only their own selves – but also their family and community. And not only now – but also for future generations.

No one need face their problems alone. Each person can turn to community programs and resources for help.





I want to tell you about Connie. She and I worked at the same hospital on the same patient care unit. She was going to school to become a nurse. Seven months after my shooting, she experienced CDV = Criminal Domestic Violence! However, unlike me, she did not survive!

{{ I PROMISED I WOULD NEVER FORGET YOU CONNIE! }} I take her with me where ever I go (both in my heart and in my talks.) She was a co-worker at the hospital I worked at, mother of five beautiful children, and herself, a victim of abuse. She had left her abuser the week of her birthday (she had just turned 30 years old) and was living with her Aunt when that Saturday night, he appeared, begged her to come out and talk to him, which she did, then begged her to come back. She refused over and over and over again... His response....was to chase her around a vehicle, shoot her five times (last time in the back of her head) and then stand over her body and take his own life! Want to know the horrible part? (As if THAT wasn't bad enough!), I and a number of others, believe the oldest child (only 11yrs old) saw it out of the window! I PROMISE I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT WE BOTH WENT THROUGH, CONNIE!


Here is a story I also want to share about a friend:

'My own dad tried to kill me:' Faith, friends help in survival

CNN ~ Chris' Story


Cries From Within by Joy

Beautiful Poetry by a healing victim of child abuse

Broken Pieces

Broken pieces all around, sprinkled on the floor

I haven't strength to pick them up; strength I have no more

Broken by the ones I loved and by the ones I hate

Healing is so badly needed; time is getting late.

Broken pieces in my heart scattered all around

Suffocating all my thoughts, in everything they're found.

Trying to pick the pieces up is quite a task for me

Especially when everywhere I look pieces are all I see.

Broken pieces in my mind but not in my safe place

TIme to put them all together and into a better space.

Even if only one by one I must try with all my heart

To pick up all the broken pieces before I fall apart.

Her poem To The Abuser

Tears are falling in the middle of the night

There is no one to tell her it's going to be alright

She is hurting but no one sees her pain

Abandonment is a scar that will always remain

She is looking for someone who is not there

Somehow she was thinking that you'd be the one to care

But you hurt her in the middle of the night

Confusion has overaken her, blurring all her sight

Are you so heartless that you don't even care?

Can you keep on hurting people without being aware

Of the scars you're leaving in the middle of the night

Or has your conscience accepted the darkness over light?

Picture for a momennt the tears on her face

Doesn't it fill your heart with a sickening disgrace

What moves you to hurt so many people so

Are you so bitter that hurting is the only thing you know?

Joy Pachowicz


If you wish to contact me, email me here: [email protected]